I'll show you.

I'm trying not to be too bitter right now.

See my parents are somewhere in the air between home and Cancun. Jerks. I mean, I hope you have a nice week and a half vacation in 85 degree weather.

And I'm here. With the dogs. And brother, who is in the house occasionally - he has more of a social life than I do.

I'm trying to keep positive by remembering all of the international lotteries I've won. Just five minutes ago I checked my email and had won another. I'm still waiting for the funds to show up in my bank account. It was okay to give the person from the UK lottery my account number, right?

Totally joking. I only gave Sir William Bennett III my social security number. I'll be fine.

So take that parents. Enjoy your vacation at the five star resort with multiple pools all containing swim up bars. And a soaking pool in your room.

I won the British Lottery. And the Nigerian, and the Canadian....