I have had one surgery during the course of my life. It happened the summer after I finished at community college.
I had trigger finger. My left middle finger.
Contrary to what you're probably thinking right now, I have never shot a gun in my life. We never even had one in the house.
Well, my dad had a bb gun when I was younger - maybe he still does - although I'm not sure why.
To stay on topic, trigger finger basically meant I would wake up in the mornings and my finger would be locked in a curled position. I could bend and straighten all my other fingers, I could flex my entire hand, but my middle finger wouldn't move.
I would have to physically pry it open every morning and loosen it up.
So I had surgery, which meant four stitches in my palm. Just a few days before I went to coach at basketball camp.
The camp director cleared everything up when he introduced me the first day. He told the campers my boyfriend had bitten me.
Then I spent the week trying to catch the basketball with my right hand and left forearm. Not as easy as it sounds.
So that's why they call me Quick-Draw McGraw.
No one's ever called me that.