Doctor

I went to the doctor. Not for anything too exciting. Don't worry.

But it got me thinking about some of my more memorable trips to the doctor.

Like the time I was diagnosed with TMJ (my jaw pops and stuff). The doctor explained that it could be related to hormone levels and that most likely it would go away from menopause.

I already got migraines related to my cycle. The doctor suggested that I should hurry up and have my kids so I could have my hysterectomy.

I was around 17 at the time. And my mother was with me, and thrilled to hear the doctor telling her teenage daughter to reproduce.

Another time, during my freshman year of college, I got a really bad flu. The special of the season. It was during finals week, right before my basketball team was going on a road trip.

I woke up and could barely function. My mom took me to the doctor and I almost passed out trying to check in.

Then I get in with the doctor and am informed that I need to go home and go to bed for a week.

"Healthy 30-year-old men are dying from this flu."

Basically, I could die. Just what I needed to hear in my sick stupor.

And just one more. Back in my naive days, a doctor asked me what two forms of birth control I was using, because one is not enough.

I stammered, stuttered and stared rather blankly at the doctor. Two?

Then he clarified, abstinence counted as for both. Apparently not having sex keeps you safe enough.

Good to know.