11.06.2008

Liquidity

Let me just start off by saying that might title doesn't have any literal connection to my topic. It's definition has to do with finances or something, and my post has to do with crying (tear...liquid...are you following me?).

I am not a cryer, for a number of reasons. I don't like it and I try to avoid it at all costs.

When I was younger (and the emotions more turbulent) I would avoid it so long that eventually I would break down over the smallest thing. Like my Dad saying he needed to talk to me.

(Very occasionally I would use tears to manipulate my brother, like when he wouldn't listen to me when Mom and Dad had clearly left me in charge)

I always blamed those breakdown tears on exhaustion. You'd have thought my parents used punishment such as not allowing sleep or working us all day, every day.

My young, adolescent, hormone-riddled body didn't know how to handle all my thoughts and feelings, so I tried to keep it lockdown. Usually serious talks about not-altogether-important things set me off. While the more important items were never mentioned by yours truly.

In fact it wasn't until years later that I told my parent's about the boy in my freshman bio class that was suspended after he informed me I was on his hit list. I had refused to put his name a report he did nothing for.

Needless to say, I was an emotionally confused teenager.

Now though, I just know how to keep my emotions under check. I keep things from getting too crazy. Except for laughter. Laughter good.

Here's the thing. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition ALWAYS makes me tear up. (And shows or movies where the animals die...but that's another story.)

I don't know what it is. The little kids in wheelchairs, the single mother raising a couple hundred children. Those stories get me.

And occasionally I fantasize about my family being on the show. But something major would have to happen; like my unemployment combined with my father somehow losing his job and not being able to support us and my brother losing his arm in a freak snowmobiling accident with Sarah Palin.

Crazy stuff, is what I'm saying.

Demolishing the house and rebuilding does sometimes sound better than actually cleaning and organizing my room though.

If you have somehow followed my train of thought to the end of the blog, you get a gold star.

Now I'm trying to remember...what did those gold stars get you anyways.

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