Klutz

Generally speaking I am a pretty able person. I am coordinated, my limbs works as they are supposed to.

Somehow I managed to have a lot of issues growing up. Basically I was a little bit accident prone. Luckily enough I managed to come out mostly unscathed. The objects around me weren't as lucky.

Here are a few examples of what I am talking about.

Numero Uno

Perhaps the first, and definitely one of the more unfortunate incidents involved a pellet stove when I was four or five. My siblings and I would take baths and then stand in front of the fireplace to dry off and warm up.

Apparently I was a poor judge of distance. Before I know it my butt is burned badly enough that I have to take a cloth to sit on at preschool.

Numero Dos

At the age of ten I convince my parents that I was old enough to handle our moped. We lived on an acre, so they strapped the helmet on my head, explained the basics, and away I went.

Unfortunately I put a little too much into the handle throttle, froze like a deer in headlights, and went straight through my neighbors fence much like a dog goes through a dog door.

Numero Tres

Ok, so this is more of a theme in my life...keys. I have dropped keys into a lake while on vacation so my dad had to snorkle for them. I locked them in our conversion van at a basketball tournament and we had to slide my sister through the narrow side window. I even managed to lock the keys in the car with it running once. Basically I have a gift.

Numero Cuatro

While on a missions trip with my church youth group I was refilling a stapler. Simple enough.

After replacing the staples I shut the stapler with a little too much force and managed to staple two of my fingers together. You think I'm joking, think again.

That happened.

The. End.