I'm not a fan of spiders.
The thing is, I'm not a wimp.
I don't scream on roller coasters, I don't hide my eyes during scary movies, I can handle needles and blood and guts, I can use power tools. And generally speaking, I don't freak out easily.
But there is just something about spiders. Part of it is that bites from your average spiders cause me to swell abnormally. One bit on the side of my knee ended up the size of a softball around, and was rather discolored and hot to the touch.
Add to that the fact that I don't really know my spiders, and you have a lot of fear.
This fear combined with mowing lawns in the fall doesn't always work out well. Yesterday especially.
I was out mowing a lawn by myself using a riding mower. I kind of find riding mowers boring and inefficient, unless they are the ones that can turn on a dime. Then they are pretty sweet.
The thing about spider webs and riding lawns mowers is that you just can't avoid the spiders as easily. You are less mobile and you are sitting higher.
And there are a lot of spiders out right now.
I was mowing along on high alert, avoiding the spider webs as best as possible. Then out of the blue I'm driving straight into the web of a very large spider.
I abandoned ship immediately, moving faster than I have in years. I was frantically brushing off any rabid spiders that might have attached themselves to me, when I spotted it ON THE MOWER'S SEAT.
Meaning, I just barely escaped from the jaws of death. (Guys, it was big!)
I watched it for a couple seconds and quickly realized that the seat was too slippery for it to get off. It obviously needed help, but there was no way I was touching it.
You couldn't pay me enough. But yes, Dad, if terrorist were holding you hostage, I would touch the spider to save your life.
I tried pushing off the spider with my iPod and only succeeded in breaking one of its legs. Now I really better watch out for spiders.
I finally blew it off the seat and spent the next hour and a half on the rider on high alert (and maybe making some rather girly sounds anytime I got too close to a spider).
It's a jungle out there.