I have come to realize, thanks to a good friend who also meets many of these qualifications, that I am really an old woman in a young woman's body. No, I don't have arthritis or osteoporosis. I just enjoy things that make me rather like an old woman.
First of all, one of my hobbies is knitting. While this alone is probably enough to qualify me as an old woman that is not all.
I love to cook, preferably from scratch. I enjoy reading, especially with a mug of tea in front of a blazing fire.
I don't stay up late. Most nights the clocks strikes 10pm and I am starting to head to bed. Sad, but true.
I get annoyed by my neighbor's (incredibly) loud music. I know this isn't just a problem for old ladies, but still.
All I am missing in my life of old ladyness is a crockpot. Maybe someday...